Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Hi, me at 18

This is going to be a scary year. The scariest one yet. It's also going to change everything, and you're going to meet the best person you will ever know. Your son. Being a parent is scary. It doesn't stop being scary and it never gets easier. Don't believe the people who tell you it does. Riley will be the worlds easiest baby, and toddler. He won't be difficult to handle til he's 7. It goes downhill fast from there. But what's important is how much you're going to love him. Seriously, his face is going to set your soul on fire. You're going to write these beautiful words about him:

"Sweet perfection in a coo,
The gentle whispering of your name,
As your tenement emerges,
Frankly fresh and nitid new.

Gold laden are your smiles.
Ambrosial is your scent.
Your aroma so darling,
It brings complacence and content.

More precious than any sunrise,
More beautiful than any sunset,
The delight that I have found in you
Eternity could not compel me to forget.

Such pride I find in your creation,
'Though I barely played a part,
Merely vessel and sustainer,
For your impressive start.

You give me reason to believe, dear boy,
As I explore your face,
Any inkling of regret once felt,
Annulled without a trace.

I inspect the tiny features,
God so carefully put in place.
Your flawless elfin details,
A testament to His Grace.

Tiny hands with tiny fingers,
Little feet and little toes,
Fleeting forehead, eager eyes.
Modest mouth and narrow nose

I’ve found a reason to continue.
Nay, the reason I began,
To live and love and laugh with you
As you grow into a man.

A renewal of my faith is found,
Formerly which I suppressed.
Denial: inconceivable,
For you are clearly blessed.

My life was rain before you,
Now you’ve shot across my sky,
An everlasting rainbow,
My eternal reason why."

He's going to change everything. He's going to challenge you and make you grow. But he's going to be the sweetest, most compassionate little person. He's going to be smart, and funny. And you're gonna do a good job. Mistakes will be made, but he's going to love you anyways. Hard times are coming honey. There's going to be a lot of losses, but you're going to gain the joy of motherhood, and it's going to be the best thing in your life. It's still the best thing in mine, 10 years later.

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