Alternative Families Are OK

 My parents marriage didn’t look like my marriage, or any other that I’ve ever seen. 

They shared separate bedrooms my whole life. 

They literally only had sex to conceive me. 

My mom only married my dad because he wouldn’t go away after I was born and he needed health insurance. 

There was a lot of love lost between them over the years for reasons I won’t share publicly.

But

They created ultimate balance for raising a child together.

My dad worked nights while my mom worked days so I always had a parent at home when I was little.

My dad sped through yellow lights. Yellow = faster. While my mom came to a full and complete stop at yellow as well as red. 

My dad bent and broke the rules whenever he felt like it. My mom followed them to the letter. 

They supported one another through life’s trials and tribulations even when they argued about it. 

My mom was thrifty while my dad loved to spend $$ (even when it wasn’t his 🤣)

They both loved me unconditionally. 

My mom never drank or drugged (except a handful of times in her whole life)

My dad liked to get his party on over summer vacation and once I was grown drank atleast 1 whiskey a day.  

My mom took morality to the next level aka she was a square while my dad jigged to the best of his own drum, and wasn’t always the *best* example of morals or ethics. 

They’d both give you the shirt off their backs if you needed it.

My dad was an excellent host while my mom only knew how to give her ear or shoulder and wasn’t the type to grab you a drink or fix you something to eat. 

My dad was an excellent cook.

My mom could barely make decent spaghetti.

When it came to the “big” stuff they shared a lot of common ground. They shared their faith, love of horses and calling to serve those with differences. 

Anyways… to my point… 

Not everyone’s relationships look the same. People get married & stay married for all kinds of different reasons. My parents weren’t romantically involved and there were many times when I questioned why they bothered. It’s only recently I realized that the answer is simple. Going through life alone is lonely. My parents started as best friends, and while their relationship had a lot of ups and downs over the years they coparented their daughter together til the very end. 

Partnerships come in all shapes & sizes. 

If you’re holding yourself to some ridiculous standard of what marriage, partnership, parenting, family etc looks like, stop. Your life doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s to be valid and incredible. 

I had a pretty great childhood and I was raised by excellent parents. Despite their flaws and unique relationship, or perhaps BECAUSE of them- I am the powerhouse I am today.